Humans are
interesting animals. Homo sapiens, as we call ourselves, are a paradox wrapped
in an enigma. We spent half of our
evolutionary existence learning about our selves and are no closer to
understanding it than we are to the hunk of rock we stand on. A blink of an eye
in comparison to the universe surrounding us and yet science has yet to have
answers to some of the fundamental questions. We have put us above other animals
that we share so much with. All life on this planet is connected from simple
insects to the mighty beasts of the wild. We have conquered and domesticated
some of our most ferocious predators to nothing more than slaves instead of
friends.
We consider
ourselves rational. Although time and again we have proved we are not so. We
call ourselves individuals and masters of our fate when we abide by a few
simple rules. I see it more clearly than ever; all of it basic primal instinct.
We seek safety and hate for their peace to be disturbed. Siting on the top of
this pyramid of power we say what happens to everything we say what lives or dies. Yet we are the crazy
ones. Augmenting our abilities with our ingenuity to become even bigger
monsters. Example: we pile ourselves in to large metal encasing and move faster
than our bodies were meant to. We lose our identities, moving behind masks
yelling and berating each other for things beyond our control.
“Everyone is insane and yet scream
their innocence.” Came from my mouth.
In reality I was still driving. I cannot
excuse the simplicity of my own thoughts being shaped by the world around me. I
was twenty-five hours into my journey. Everything I owned was behind me in the back of the small moving truck I rented. At this point music was useless and the static was my only
solitude. I would hear murmurs through it like a distant signal wanting to be
found. It never was and why should I care?
I had left my beautiful home city
of Peoria, Illinois for Newport Beach, California. It was not a very rational
choice by me however I decided I needed a change of pace, something totally
different. I sold my house and plan to find something as soon as possible.
Energy drink cans littered the floor of the truck. The only way that could keep
me going. I wanted to get there yesterday.
“Hotels? Who needs sleep?” slipped
out of my mouth.
I had to fill the void, the
darkness that stretched in my vision only interrupted by shining beacons that
accelerate past. The words echoed through my thoughtless head. Goes to prove
how tired I am. I lost the feeling in my legs 100 miles back. A boner could
only hold back pee for so long. I needed something fast. Mercy smiles upon me
for an early morning donut shop. My stomach argues with me. I finally relented
to my body needs. It was time for a coffee and donut treat. The truck swayed as
I pulled in but I was apathetic.
Struggling with the pins and
needles, working the blood to my tired muscles. The lights blinded me and the
smell of coffee smacked me in the face. I nodded to the old lad at the counter
before heading back to the toilet. I ignored the filth and made sure to wash my
hands extra well. I made idle conversation as woman took my order. I ignored her mostly it was the same drivel
everyone says. Behind my mask I was guilt for the amount of donuts but it would
last me for the next 150 miles at least. That was later this is now, stalling
to for some human contact and more coffee to keep me going. Eventually I had to
leave her too back to the darkness.
The thoughts started once again.
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