Morning People

 I am not a morning person, in face I prefer to be asleep until 9am and then be up until 1 or 2 am. If it's anything earlier I need coffee like a an alcoholic needs mouthwash, coffee is the ultimate thing to drink for boosting your productivity. As you all know I am moving away to start my first full time job in the engineering field, so I decided to write about my biggest fear, the fear of not getting my coffee in the morning.

               Peter peered over his cubicle wall, his eyes hovering over the edge like a ground hog looking over its hole to see if the cost was clear of predators. The coffee maker was just five cubicles away, but five minutes from now, as soon as the dark nectar finished dripping into the pot, everybody would be at the pot like a ninety percent off sale on black Friday. He had to get there first, he made the mistake of not grabbing a McDonalds coffee on the way to work today, why did there have to be a line today? Without his coffee he couldn’t focus on the problem before him. Right now the coffee pot was a little short of a quarter full, he went back to his desk to pretend to work.

            The numbers and sketches on his screen made little sense at eight-o-seven in the morning. He knew what they were: material analysis for a new bridge in the city of Hidden Springs, Mississippi. A city he never heard of until two weeks ago, located two-thousand-and-ninety-seven-miles away from where he sat, according to Google maps. It was for an overpass or something, maybe a river crossing, he didn’t care about the details he just did his job.

            With on click he minimized the analysis program to do the one thing he could do at his current brain functionality: browse reddit. As long as his project manager, Dr. Carlsberg (aka The Doc), didn’t venture down the aisles of cubicles he would be fine. Although he was certain The Doc would understand, Peter knew he wasn’t a morning person either since he was always first to the coffee maker. Nobody here is a morning person, well except Gabe, that was who he had to look out for. A few funny cat pictures and memes later, Peter looked over the thin divider between him and productivity; it was nearly half full.

            He sat back down at his desk swiveling his chair back and forth, patience was not his virtue. It was what caused him to skip the drive-thru line at McDonalds this morning after all.

            “Morning!” Peter’s index finger reflexively minimized the window; he had practiced this enough as a teenage boy when his parents would walk in on him unexpectedly. He didn’t need to turn around to know that voice, oh how much he hated that voice, especially this early. “Working hard Peter?”

            “Yes Gabe,” Peter said maximizing the analysis, “just performing some basic stress analysis on the bridge.” Gabe worked for the HR department, a department Peter found incompetent since he first applied here. They never called him back when he was originally promised an interview, it took two weeks and seven phone calls just to follow up and get an interview scheduled for three weeks later and then another month before even receiving his offer letter. The worst part: they weren’t engineers; they had no place in an engineering firm except to annoy the people that actually did the work, and yet they could still fire anyone they didn’t see suitable for the company.

            “Good,” Gabe said, “just doing the rounds is all. How was your weekend?”

            “Fine,” Peter said still not looking Gabe in the eyes.

            “Do anything exciting? I know I did, I went to the lake with the fiancé and water skied. She kicked my ass at it though, I never water skied before but I do enjoy snow skiing. I guess that’s what I get for proposing to a woman raised by the lake.” Gabe laughed at his stupid joke or whatever it was.

            Peter remained silent; clicking on random icons knowing the Gabe couldn’t tell the difference between actual work and just drawing random selection boxes over every component.

            “Have you ever been skiing before?”

            “No,” Peter lied. He had been snow skiing, but it had been five years since his last trip.

            “Neither one? Not even snow skiing?”

            “Nope.”

            “You should,” Gabe said. Well there went Peter’s plan, he knew where this is going: Gabe is going to tell him he should go skiing sometime soon, probably even invite him on a trip he has planned six months from now that will never happen. “It’s like a roller coaster you have complete control of, snow skiing that is. Speeding down the slope of a mountain faster than you can even sprint as the refreshing cool air rushes past you; nothing makes me feel more alive.”

            Peter looked over the cubicle wall disregarding Gabe, the pot was just over a quarter full and The Doc was already standing there waiting for his cup. Soon the rest of the office would be following suit, and Peter would be stuck here in a conversation with Gabe.

            “What are you looking at?” Gabe asked.

            “The coffee,” Peter said.

            “I never get why people drink coffee,” Gabe continued his ramble. “It tastes too bitter, even with the sugar in it, although I never tried cream. I prefer tea. It’s natural and has plenty of flavors to it.”

            Steve from the mechanical engineering department just lined up behind The Doc, shortly afterwards Melisa from Civil, Peter’s department got in line.

            “I don’t even need to add sugar or honey to my tea,” Gabe continued, “I like it just the way it is, nothing better than an herbal tea and a good book right before bed.”

            Two more people Peter only recognized by face alone lined up behind Melisa. The coffee pot only had enough for eight people, time was running short. Peter had to leave this conversation, if you could call it that, so he said the only thing he could think of.

            “I’m going to get some coffee,” Peter said.

            “I’ll come with you; we can talk on the way.” Gabe said his voice even more cheerful than usual.

            “Please don’t,” Peter said leaving his cubicle power walking to the pitch black nectar. The pot was on its final drips, just a few more seconds and the entire office building would swarm the area.

            “So Peter,” Gabe said following shortly behind him. Peter was starting to think Gabe seriously didn’t understand social cues whatsoever; he only finished talking when his mouth ran out of energy. “Why do you like coffee?”

            “It wakes me up,” Peter said. He was a few paces away from the line when somebody else he only recognize by face cut him off, he did recognize the department the man was from though: HR.

            “Maybe I should try it today, you know give it a second chance. Oh hey Jonathan!” Gabe said, quickening his pace surpassing Peter, claiming Peter’s rightful place in the coffee line. “Good morning to you!”

            It was over. Peter withdrew from the line back to his desk. He would have to wait another five minutes, another five mind-bending minutes.